SchmalltownUSA

Related Words for HINTERLAND: back country, backwoods, boondocks

 
 

Nor' Easter on the Way...

 

This is my first winter on the East Coast in 30 years. That's right, I haven't driven in snow and ice, haven't had to add items like "mufflers" to my wardrobe, and haven't experienced the sheer joy that floods one's being upon entering a warm, cozy house after getting fah-rozen while out walking the dogs.

My darling daughter is scheduled to arrive on Christmas eve, and although the past 48 hours have resulted in more work - and crazier deadlines - than I've had in months, my sis and I are going to brave the elements tonight as we do our holiday shopping. That means $$ output, but also an experience that is completely novel: bundling up and shivering from one store to the next. Does it sound like I'm dreading it? Cuz, I'm not. I'm actually so excited it's pathetic.

State Street was definitely, when I harken back to my teens, the scene of the crime. But now, it's, like, Nostalgia Alley. I actually get a little lump in my throat when I see it, twinkle lights tracing all the storefronts, preparing itself for the onslaught. I'll be hoisting my camera every 10 paces or so.

Oh, and may I just say? The ACME (Media's grocery store - since bought by Albertson's in Cali) was poppin' when I was there a couple of hours ago. The anticipation of this storm system had shoppers cleaning out shelves and narrowly missing five cart pile-ups at every aisle cap. I spent a meaningful five minutes with one woman who, like myself, was desperately seeking molasses. No, it's not in the baking aisle with sugar. It's on the syrup aisle. Huh? But we happily clinked jars and toasted each other anyway, calling out "Happy Baking!" before we continued our missions.

Okay - now I gotta jump, cuz if I expect to go out tonight, I need to complete some of the paying work I've got on my very full plate.

Happy Nor'Easter all!

Decor at its Best is Always Simply Elegant.

What's the deal in Media, Pennsylvania? Better you should ask, What's the Big Deal? That was the burning question I pondered recently - and I got one heck of an answer. Because at Simply Elegant Home, you can find some of the loveliest home decor items and well-priced hostess gifts this side of Manhattan. The owner, Mary Rhoades, provides a thoughtful selection of candles, soaps, silver-smithery, bold ceramics and one-of-a-kind bridal registry presents and sets them out - or rather curates them - in such a way as to make you want to stay a spell and look and look and look...

The blustery day I entered, the owner and her staff were still in the process of getting everything up to speed; unpacking, cleaning, adjusting the lighting. But they were most accommodating to my camera and my questions. None of this casting a cold, gimlet eye upon the shopper (as I experienced a few days prior at "Four Paws Shoppe" at the opposite end of State Street); no - Mary and her busy elves were more than happy to answer my questions and point me towards gifts at any price point.

Done in pleasing shades of brown, cream and turquoise, Simply Elegant Home teases the shopper with the sense that s/he has just climbed inside of a Tiffany's box: that unmistakably seductive shade of aqua/blue wrapped up with white satin ribbon. Playful, smart and stopping short of twee, the atmosphere was comforting, jovial and just the right amount of precious. I wanted to stay, and I most definitely wanted to shop.

Of course, when it comes to hostess gifts - and who doesn't need those at this time of year? - candles are always a crowd pleaser, and so are soaps. Simply Elegant has them in spades, and imported spades at that. The soaps are among Oprah's Favorite Things, and come from Portugal in yummy scents of Water Lily, Honeysuckle and Almond Oil. Getting your mouth washed out  suddenly sounds more like a reward than a punishment!

Then, there are the bigger ticket items. I lusted after this starburst mirror.

If you've a mind to pick up a bit of Italy, this ginormous ceramic serving platter will take you back to Sorrento, or more accurately, Tuscany, since that's where Fortunata is located. It was this item, placed in the window the first time I saw it, that hooked me, line and sinker. I've been a collector of the beautiful painted ceramics of DeRuta for twenty or so years, and this piece just undid me. Can't you envision a beautiful bounty of fruit mounding upon this piece, with red grapes cascading over the edges? Mmmm, heaven.

And when I spied, with my little eye, something that began with ... GORGEOUS, I couldn't stop looking at it in every light. Tamara Childs, the artist who created this bowl with a magical sheen had, it seemed, dipped glass into a mixture of bronze flecked with gold and - there it was again: just the tiniest suggestion of Tiffany turquoise. It twinkled bewitchingly in my hands; and it was only when I summoned every last iota of self-control that I was able to put it down and breathe the words no shopkeeper wants to hear, "I must think about it."

While I do my thinking (oh, alright: obsessing), I encourage you to stop in and visit this enchanting enterprise. And tell them that SchmalltownUSA sent you. It won't get you a discount, but it will let them know that someone, however schmall, is talking them up, bigtime...

SIMPLY ELEGANT HOME, 7 East State Street, Media, PA, 19063 ph: 610.565.4007

Exodus.

With the recession in full swing (forget all those joyful tidings that unemployment is on the wane), more and more individuals and families are loading up the truck and moving AWAY from Beverly...Hills, that is. Also leaving behind swimming pools and movie stars are ex-denizens of Chicago, Manhattan, San Francisco and every other big city in this country experiencing mass walk-outs.

Me, I left the spend-til-you-drop charms of Los Angeles for the beat-up outskirts of Philadelphia. A place where the word "water" is pronounced "wooder," and people can be as wonderful as your favorite aunt, or as scary as that mean old man down the street who always yells, "YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!" He, and his entire ilk, apparently, live right here. Namely, Media, Pennsylvania.

Although you really can't get the best Thai food here, there are quite a number of good little restaurants and shops - many helmed by folks who are savvy, pleasant and funny. And, it must be noted in all fairness, there are also establishments run by rude rubes; in other words, people who have no business being in business.

Zagat's has been the go-to guide for those who, gastronomically speaking, can't get enough of the good stuff. But most of the entries and reviews in that revered little red book are for culinary and cosmopolitan bastions. What about the places out here in the boonies?

While "I just adore a penthouse view!" has been my catchphrase for 30 years, I think I probably have a lot of company in the metro-exodus. A friend of mine left L.A. the year before I did for upstate New York and he's never looked back. I have friends in New York who've moved to Bucks County Pennsylvania. There's actually a lot to appreciate outside the metropolis. And that's where SchmalltownUSA comes in.

We'll start right here in Media. Once we plow through the establishments within its borders (and it will take some time - there are probably no fewer than two dozen restaurants and shops), perhaps we shall move on to other schmalltowns.

So enjoy the ride. And if you have comments, please feel free to leave them here. SchmalltownUSA isn't YELP! but it will feature feedback. Nothing like a little controversy to stir the pot and create some tinytown drama...