SchmalltownUSA

Chewed Up. Not Spit Out.

 

I know it's not region-specific, but I just had to review the new Milky Way Simply Caramel. A long time ago, Mars, the makers of Milky Way, Snickers, 3 Musketeers and a gajillion other ways to cop a sugar high, featured a caramel and milk chocolate bar called Marathon in their repertoire. I remember, because I loved that product and it stuck around for something like fifteen minutes. Finding out your favorite candy is no more is a bit like finding out your favorite shade of lipstick has been discontinued. Heartbreak, seriously.

But now, here's the Milky Way Simply Caramel. It's a gorgeous block of chewy - not runny like Rolo, not teethshattering like Milk Duds (which by the way aren't even covered in real chocolate, but that's another story), just sweet as hell caramel covered by a nice thick blanket of the recognizable Mars milk chocolate recipe.  Some people think it's too sweet, notably Gigi at Gigi Reviews.  Cybele at Candyblog claims not to be able to finish one in one sitting. Lightweight!

If you're looking for something to sweeten up your summer, get on down to your favorite grocery (but not Trader Joe's, they don't stock mass-market chocolate) and pick yourself up a little touch of golden summery happiness. Milky Way Simply Caramel is a sure-fire diet buster, but worth every bite.

Makes you wish you hadn't quit when your parents dogged you to keep going...

From Cygnet to Swan from Flo Miniscloux on Vimeo.

You Can't Buy Love, But You Sure Can RENT It.

  In 1989, when Jonathan Larson and Billy Aronson first paired on what would eventually become Larson's solo project known as RENT, a significant portion of the world's youth population was surrendering to death by AIDS. One needn't have had intimate contact with the health, fashion, music and/or arts scenes to know that the  '80's and early '90's featured tragically frequent funerals for loved ones.  The disease went from its initial - and panicked - appellation of "Gay Cancer," to Acquired Immune Disorder Syndrome to HIV: the recklessly wholesale virus that cut a wide swath through the 18 - 34 sector, via intravenous drug use, transfusions, unsafe sex, and, let's face it, bad luck.

So when Larson decided to reframe Puccini's La Boheme, it made perfect sense to update the ravaging disease du jour from tuberculosis to AIDS, and to relo the setting from the Latin Quarter of Paris to the Alphabet City of Manhattan's Lower East Side. A neighborhood that feels like night no matter the hour, some of its more colorful denizens are junkies, bag ladies, prostitutes, artists and drag queens. It was these characters who clearly grabbed hold of Larson's imagination and  transitioned the original story to something its author would either be proud or professionally jealous of. Maybe both. The result is RENT: a timeless tragi-comedy with all the outta control exuberance of eight young friends (and assorted local color) who lose themselves in the search for their own - and each others' - souls.

Rodolfo the poet becomes Roger (Patrick Ludt), an HIV positive rock star who's freshly back from rehab and still mourning the suicide of his girlfriend, April. Marcello the painter, is now Mark (Andrew Deichman), an edgy filmmaker; Coline is Tom Collins (Antoine L. Smith), a gay philosophy professor; Schaunard, a musician, becomes Angel (Cory Wade Hindorff), a cross-dressing drummer who beats on a pickle tub with a mean pair of sticks. Then there's the showy counterpart to Musetta: Maureen (Chloe Patellis), a bisexual performance artist who's stringing along both Joanne (Tonya Thompson) and Mark. Mimi is still Mimi (Eileen Shibley), but she isn't a seamstress anymore - she's a junkie stripper. Rounding out the cast is Benjamin Coffin III (Jesimiel Jenkins), Roger's and Mark's friend and landlord - a sell-out who's about to dump his freezing friends out on the street if they don't sign a contract allowing him to rezone the building and the adjacent lot that is currently the site for a tent city and Maureen's performance space. 

At Media Theater's production on a Thursday night, the house was about half-full. I'm not sure if this is typical for the venue, but it shouldn't be. Not with a production as electrifying as RENT on the boards. The Artistic Director of the theater, Jesse Cline, has assembled a young and professional ensemble (many of whom were mined from NYC), and his inspired direction has given many of them wings. For the most part, it's a wildly wonderful cast who sing their hearts out.

And not only inspiring sounds come from this assemblage. There's dark, and then there's dark - and scenic designer Joe Leduc creates plenty of it with an unlikely blend of gritty realism and a colorful, multi-level dreamscape. Moments of visual wit abound, like when Roger sings, "I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street" - and one scene later, as Joanne struggles to assemble Maureen's sound system for her performance, the heavy-duty equipment case is labeled "40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks."  When Joanne and Mark dance their tricky number and belt out "Might as well - dance a tango to hell - at least I'll have tangoed at all," it perfectly captures the torment of 20-something relationship drama. 

This production also features a tight band - you can't really call it an orchestra - that's bang on the money. Due to them and a sight-for-sore-eyes company (costume credit goes to Aleksandra Svetlichnaya), it doesn't really matter that the first couple of minutes of the show are a bit weak, because as soon as the entire troupe charges the audience with the exhilarating titular song, everyone's happily on board.

As couplings go, we know from La Boheme that the central ones should be Mimi and Roger, but in this production and others I've seen, it's Collins and Angel who really inspire our affection. Cory Wade Hindorff's Angel is the heart of the production - and the story - exploding gloriously onto the stage in a black pageboy wig and Santa mini-dress, and zinging us with his hilarious opening number, "Today For You, Tomorrow For Me," and when Antoine L. Smith sings Collins' grief over his lost love in "I'll Cover You," audience snufflings were heard from all corners of the theater. Patrick Ludt seems a bit lost at first, but warms to Roger, breaking hearts in the finale as he sings the song he's been searching for from the show's beginning. The performance Eileen Shibley gave is alternately tentative or in-your-face; in one number after another (Light My Candle, Out Tonight, Another Day), her Mimi repeatedly throws herself at the reluctant Roger; what's missing here is the pop of chemistry, and some subtle shadings between full-on black and blinding white. Still, the role is technically challenging and I give her props for taking risks with the character. As Maureen, the vibrant Chloe Patellis has a ball lampooning the self-righteousness of performance art, Tonya Thompson gives Joanne chutzpah and humor,  Jesimiel Jenkins creates Benny: a villain with a heart, and Andrew Diechman's Mark steals the show on several occasions, not the least of which is in the runaway audience pleaser, "La Vie Boheme."

Finally, the production owes a debt of gratitude to the brilliant ensemble made up of Yvette Bedgood, Laura Catlaw, Gianna Dispasquale, JP Dunphy, Corrine Grosser, Carly Pearlstein, Ashli-Rian Rice, Denzel Thomas, Allen Weaver, Davon Williams, David Yashin. Their youthful energy and passion is as readily apparent as the sweat these kids break when they give each song their all - the ensemble numbers, "Rent", "La Vie Boheme" and the classic "525,600 Minutes" left an indelible impression on this reviewer.

Jonathan Larson died the night RENT premiered off-Broadway. It wasn't, as his character Roger might have, a deadly dance with AIDS that took him; he died of an enlarged heart that was most-likely a complication of Marfan Syndrome. There's irony for you. Someone with a heart that big, and clearly a whole lotta mojo gets plucked from the vine practically in infancy. When you stop to think how many more incredible shows could have emerged from Larson's talent. His short time here gave voice to so many beautiful characters. But why complain? What a show to have as the punctuation at the end of your life sentence! 

This one's a gotta see, folks - with a strict warning: if you're on blood pressure medication, I'd double it up the day you're planning to see the show. And plan to see it you should - RENT "crackles and pops with incendiary wit" on the Media Theater stage nightly (except Mondays) from now until June 6th.

Eyjafjallajökull - Fimmförduháls Eruption on Iceland from Marc Szeglat on Vimeo.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

If you'd like to see the phrase "There are no small parts, only small actors," in action, visit the Media Theater's current production of "Alice in Wonderland." With a cast of 41, nearly everyone puts their most exuberant foot - and singing voice - forward.

On the day I attended, the lobby of the movie-theater-turned-off-off-off-Broadway-venue was packed to the rafters with trendy tots and their Louis Vuitton totin' mamas. Think Suri Cruise with a slightly flustered Katie Holmes on a very short leash. I don't know if it was excitement or the desperation of housewives that filled the air, but whatever it was, it was palpable.

Once inside the theater itself, the minimalist stage (read: rough scaffolding in place for the upcoming production of RENT) accompanied by minimalist lighting (read: unfocused and harsh) didn't exactly launch the flights of fancy Lewis Carroll's classic has enjoyed down through the years. But one chided oneself for lacking cheerful optimism. After all, "Alice" always has and always will put one's imagination, childish and otherwise, front and center.

It's a tale told a million times: a pretty little girl (Greta Bradbury) with a sweet vibrato and entitlement issues falls through a hole in the ground and, thrown into the topsy-turvy world of Wonderland, engages in a series of comically humbling adventures, gradually coming to believe that skating on the razor-sharp outer edges of experience isn't all it's cracked up to be. Ideally, in the process, the reader/audience will see something of themselves in Alice. Which is why it's such a powerful story for children - especially girls. Having been one a few years ago, I can remember plenty of yearning, hope and a steadfast belief that if one wishes hard enough, dreams can come true. (Growing up with The Wonderful World of Disney every Sunday night at 7:30, I'm part of an entire generation weened on such living-color expectations...) Alice is the embodiment of all that covetousness. And for the most part, she always delivers.

Unfortunately, the central element of fun at times goes missing in this production. It's as if writer/director Tim Haney took the book, knocked out some scenes loosely based on what he read, wrote a few songs that rhyme and called it a day. It's disappointing. And the thing is, it needn't be. There are some terrific moments of talent just aching to put the playful in this play.

For example, Alice has no sooner dropped down the rabbit hole when she begins whining for home. Huh? Where is the wonder? Mr. Carroll's heroine didn't start moaning about leaving Wonderland until she'd had her fill of it. Of course, Mr. Haney has only sixty minutes to tell a deftly layered and nuanced story full of metaphor and message. And then, make it compelling for children. A tall order for anyone - even Tim Burton. Not to be a spoil sport: this show encouraged several curtain calls, so the kiddies obviously enjoyed themselves.

Apart from some weak links in the cast, most of the players seemed happy about being there. This is most evident in the songs sung by the entire company. They're a rousing good time. And some of the cast members out and out shine. There's Paige Romano as the caterpillar, who belts out her number with the verve and cajones of a young Grace Slick. The Queen of Hearts as played by Lindsay Ronaldson isn't as scary as she could be - but she gets big ups for her work with the audience. Getting little kids to come up to the stage and participate in the croquet game isn't as easy as it sounds, but Lindsay makes it work by staying firmly planted in the moment. She's got great presence, and I wouldn't be surprised if she makes a career of acting. Tara Higgins, as the little Dormouse, is aDORable, and the brothers Jewell, Ryan and Jacob, are an engaging pair as Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

As Alice, Greta Bradbury has perky looks and a suitable voice, but her work was so subtle that one didn't feel particularly compelled to root for her. I was sitting in the third row, so for her performance to feel watered-down from that distance makes me think she might have a better time of it as a film actress. She wasn't by any means bad, I just wanted her to have more fun with the role. 

And therein lies the rub. What was missing, except for those times when the entire company was on stage singing their little guts out, was FUN. The production was careful, self-conscious and safe. But when you're in Wonderland, you gotta throw all that stuff out and take chances. Still, at the end of the day, I give Jesse Cline and all the on-stage and back-stage worker-bees at Media Theater credit. Although today's kids have Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, they still can benefit from as many creative outlets as possible. Media Theater kids' programs provide - through the school year sessions as well as the Summer Theater Camp.

And that's ... wonderful.

From Lent to RENT.

Hallelujah!

I made it. In the last entry, I was batting my eyelashes at some serious sugary mischief. But I went through the entire Lent season (forty days - with no time off on Sundays, mind you) without a misstep. "No Sugar Added" became my favorite watch words when food shopping. 

And I wound up losing 8lbs in the process. Not bad for taking spirituality to the next gastric level. 

Now, I am excitedly awaiting May 1st - when I'll attend a women's retreat beachside in Avalon, NJ, and May 5th - when Media Theater premieres their production of RENT. Since the retreat is something rather private, I won't be blogging on it - but I will most certainly mull any brilliance I take away from it. For God's sake, you know how to read between the lines, dontcha? Or dontcha?

But RENT is a different story. (I'm listening to the score right now on Pandora radio - the awesomest thing my daughter has intro'd me to in the last coupla years.) It will be my second review of the Arts and Entertainment available here in the hinterland Delaware Valley. What is the first, you may ask? I will be reviewing Alice in Wonderland this coming Saturday, as they only play Saturdays at 11am. I am hopeful. And then next week I'll be venturing over to Hedgerow Theater which apparently once featured William Shatner in a production of ... who knows?  A few years ago that wouldn't have impressed me, but lately, what with his work on the Price Line spots, I'm completely smitten. Are you following me? I'm trying to say THERE ARE POSSIBILITIES where once one expected none.

So instead of kicking against the thunder, let's try and dwell on those possibilities. We'll see: arts and entertainment in Suburban Philadelphia? Stranger things have happened...Like me getting through Lent without breaking my promises.

Schweet.

A friend recently made a post to her blog that was so bang-on for the no-man's-land I find myself occupying these days. After several months of being gastronomically out of control, I have now been off ice cream for 10 days, and I have decided Lent is going to be a big deal for me this year. Come 2/17, I'm giving up sugar. Can it be done? I don't know. But isn't that the whole point of committing to the impossible? BTW: my iPhone rocks Lent - making a decision to deny yourself of something this season? There's an app for that! 

This all begs the question: what happens when Lent ends? Wouldn't it be the height of cool if I were able to legislate a personal law that mandates that I may have sugar - but only if I go waaaaay out of my way to have it. A few years ago, I would have put Magnolia at the top of my list of dream destinations, but having done research into cupcakeries, I'm thinking a trip to Buttercup Bake Shop is looking even better for my spectacular re-entry.

No, possums, it's not in Media PA, so technically it shouldn't be up for review here at SchmallTownUSA, BUT: it is only one block from where I used to live in NYC - and what is Manhattan but a huge collection of schmalltowns? See where I'm going with this? We're broadening our horizons - instead of our mid-sections. A sense of accomplishment + a trip to NYC + a yummy cupcake = sublime delight.

If you happen to know of a terrific bakery in the Media area, or your own schmalltown (within the 50 states), drop me a comment here with your own mini-review. Or send it to wrlgrl247@yahoo.com (include a pic if you like). And let me know what and if you're planning to give up for Lent this year, and include why you're making the sacrifice - or why not. I'll publish all your stories to the main page of schmalltownUSA.

Let the denial games begin...

The Joy-Free Zone

The bar room definition of insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results." Why does that never occur to me until I'm leaving the ACME MARKET in Media at the corner of Providence Road and Baltimore Pike?

The produce is picked-over, the product selection is meager and the staff runs from condescending, to apathetic, to downright rude. As I pushed my cart full of groceries out to the parking lot the other day, the enormous, staggering drunk fella who collects the carts announced to all and sundry in his booming baritone: "They promise we'll be taken care of, get raises, but do they do it? No - they're ASSHOLES!"

This says so much - and on so many different levels, it makes me dizzy. But although his statement was, shall we say, heartfelt, all I could think was, "I've moved to the crassest place on the planet." I mean, the last time I checked, one could expect to get fired for making the above assertion in public.

But perhaps his ... frustration ... was understandable. The atmosphere on any given shopping trip is oppressive: one gets the sense that perhaps the place is a feng shui trainwreck: workers' faces are set in grim expressions of resentment, shoppers don't tarry. If this was the only place you encountered in Media Pennsylvania, you would have to conclude that you'd visited "The Unhappiest Place on Earth" (apologies to Walt Disney for the paraphrase). Oh, did I mention that their prices are high? Okay, I have now.

If you must pick up something last minute for dinner, take my advice and hit the Trader Joe's on State Street - only a few minutes away from this pit of despair. But if you have staples like cat food or paper products, you'll probably have to take your lumps at the Acme. Just push your cart, grab your stuff, pay through the nose (use the self-checkouts - why subject yourself to the nasty checkers?) and get the hell out (truly the happiest moment of your entire experience). But don't think you're free of the place once you've exited the store. Remember, Mr. Cart Picker-Upper may be lurking over there where you parked.

Wait, is that - Hey! Who keyed my car??

ACME MARKET - 527 E. Baltimore Pike, Media PA 19065

Pure, Pharmaceutical White.

With all the schnow schnow SCHNOW in the last two days - and more on the way, Media's "rally" is a bit disappointing. Slackjawed, resentful teens, out "shoveing" snow (Actually they're leaning on snow shovels as they busily text to friends: "I'm too good for this crap, but what can I do? Dad will refuse to send me to Brown!")

With the happy result that driveways are left with deposits of schnow at their road entrances and drifts are EVERYWHERE (some over 6 feet tall). Still. The silence is golden. (With the exception of the "ticka ticka ticka" of adolescent thumbs twinkling over keyboards...)

The Lotus Eaters

There's a line from "The Wizard of Oz" that has been used and re-used in a variety of contexts, but when we hear it, we instantly recognize that something has happened to alter our world, undeniably. "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore," breathes Dorothy, as she leaves behind her black and white world and enters a glorious technicolor one. These were the words my lunch companions uttered as we compared the tastes we discovered at Media's newest restaurant, "Lotus."

You suspect you're not in Kansas, er, Media, almost the moment you walk in the front door. Against a palette of quiet Asian browns and greens, brilliant vermillion tea canisters line the rear wall, where one can manage a peek at the tiny kitchen helmed by David Berg, recently of Terrain at Styers. 

The owner, Courtney Rozsas, is clearly a devotee of all things eastern: it's abundantly evident in the menu and the décor. The tables and chairs were hand-painted in India and are charming, if a bit uncomfortable for long-term sitting. Ours was a party of five, and when we tried to push a pair of two-tops together, someone (me) ended up straddling a rather unforgiving pair of boxy table legs. But that's small potatoes. Let's get to the food.

When I heard the subtitle for the restaurant, "A Salad and Tea House," I must admit I was bewildered. Salad and tea? Unless you're talking about a chopped salad and a big glass of iced tea - the two seemed rather at odds. But at Lotus, they can be masterfully paired. To get things off to a roaring start, I ordered the Red pepper bisque with crab and chive oil, my daughter had the Roasted mushroom and shallots soup flavored with hazelnuts and basil, my sister had the Turkish Buttered Hummus with pita chips, and no one was disappointed. If the menu is out of the ordinary, so is the serving routine: the owner herself came to the table to dole out the main soup element (crab or mushrooms) into a Nike swoop-shaped white bowl, followed by a ladleful of the soup.

Our chrysanthemum tea (delivered in a delicate glass teapot), provided the perfect culinary punctuation to the nibbles, sips and tastes we oohed and ahhed over. My one complaint: the soup is not hot. It comes to the table already cooled, so by the time you're on your second or third spoonful, it's gone unappetizingly tepid. But that's an easy fix, and I'm sure they'll have addressed it by now. I had the opportunity to taste the Yummy Warm White Bean dip with herbs and toasted baguette and am looking forward to the San Marzano Tomato Fondue with Charred Bread for a return visit.

"More Than Just a  Bite" is how Lotus terms its salads, and the seasonal greens with roasted Sikel pears, walnuts, spiced pear vinaigrette and melted brie toast was a hit at our table - three of us ordered it, and enjoyed the sweet/savory aspects of the dish. It was altogether tasty and surprisingly filling. My daughter ordered the Roasted squash with Apple Tree Dairy goat cheese, wilted greens, sage pesto and pumpkin seeds, and, despite its elegantly spare presentation, she couldn't finish it - when it comes to food at Lotus, don't trust the eye as an accurate measuring device for how much you think you can put away. The other salads on offer are the Warm salad of pearl barley with oyster and trumpet mushrooms all doused in Porcini vinaigrette, and the Classic Caesar to which you can add either grilled local chicken marinated in jasmine or tofu.

By the time we'd finished our salads, the only person who had the gustatory courage to go for an entree was my mom, who ordered the special Crab Cake which was delicate and crisp with a delightfully spicy punch. Mom's a crab cake aficianada,  and she was practically swooning, polishing it off in no time and offering forkfuls to the rest of us - while it was clear she hoped we wouldn't take her up on her proposal. The other entrees were Day boat scallops and Beluga lentil salad with Dijon vinaigrette and lemon; Yellow fin tuna crudo, with blood orange, grapefruit, pomegranate and avocado vinaigrette; and Marinated grilled flank steak sandwich with hummus, tzatziki, chilies, romaine and pita. When it came time for dessert, we ordered a simple cranberry and orange scone and broke it into fifths; it was fluffy and rich - I definitely detected heavy cream as a main ingredient. With black tea as its dance partner, the takeaway was "Next time, get your own."

While Lotus is not wholly faultless (don't sit near the front door if you visit during the brutal winter months, have no expectations that the waiting staff will provid guidance on the different teas and what they pair well with, and if you're not just nibbling, come prepared to bust out your Visa card, big-time) you'll probably leave happy. The menu rotates every six weeks, and you are assured that the fare from David Berg's kitchen is local and seasonal. Maybe you'll find that at Alice Waters' Chez Panisse in Berkelely California, but who does that in Media, Pennsylvania? Guess we now know the answer to that. Although Media in general, and State Street in particular, offer a wide variety of epicurean adventures, you'll most certainly come away from this place clicking your heels together and, chanting, to paraphrase Dorothy, "There's no place like Lotus...there's no place like Lotus...there's no place like Lotus."

Lotus, a salad and tea house, 112 West State Street, Media Pennsylvania 610 565-5554. Open for lunch and tea 11am - 3 pm. Call for reservations for the next Chef's Dinner - and do it pronto  because these events sell out fast.